How Do I Handle a Partner Who Reeks?
September 29, 2008 by Sweet Hot Counsel
Q: I’ve spent the past three nights at the printer working with a partner who has the most foul breath you can possibly imagine. Not exaggerating. I keep popping Listerine strips and offering him one, but he hasn’t taken the hint. Even the client seems to have noticed and I can see them looking at each other when he speaks up close sometimes and I actually feel bad for him. Should I just pull him aside and tell him (in a totally gingerly way, of course)?
A: Definitely. Just break it to him gently. You may want to start with, “The client asked me to let you know…” And then, locate the nearest letter opener and stab yourself repeatedly in the face as many times as you can. Because that will have roughly the same effect as telling your boss that he has ass breath. Are you insane?
If he had something stuck in his teeth, or maybe had something hanging off his face, then it wouldn’t be such a big deal to quickly let him know—that would avert embarrassment for him rather than cause more. But if you’re telling him his mouth reeks, you’re basically insulting his hygiene. The poor guy probably hasn’t eaten anything but corn chips in three days and nature’s taking its toll. Or maybe he’s just a pig and doesn’t know how to brush his teeth. Either way, it’s not your job to fix the problem. Think about it: How would you feel if your secretary “gingerly” told you that you had crap breath? Would you be super-grateful to her for the tip, or would you be super-self-conscious and think she was overstepping her bounds?
Now, yes, there’s still the problem that every time this guy opens his mouth near you, you want to pass out. (And the printer marathon has probably heightened your sensitivity in the first place.) I can empathize. Just keep popping those Listerine strips—maybe move on to gum, just to vary it up—and keep offering it to him—and to everyone around you. If the context is right and you feel comfortable, you may even want to throw in a “Sorry, I’m just obsessed with these things—I feel like I haven’t brushed my teeth in three days! I’ll just leave them out; help yourself if you want any.” Or something like that. He may get the hint, he may not. Either way, it will all be over soon—and at the very least, you can rest easy knowing that no one’s having this conversation about you. At least not this time.
Need advice? Email our Sweet Hot Counsel at counsel@sweethotjustice.com.
I had a fat partner who always farted. I am not sure but it must have been congenital or something. I tried to pretend I did not hear them, (or smell them), but it was difficult. More embarrassing was when the secretary or someone else came in. They might have thought it was ME, not the farter, and that was awful. I finally moved to work for another partner, leaving the farter to torment some other associate.
Is that website listenhoney.com still out there. They anonymously delivered hiegene products to people that you paid for with a polite message. I never used them but I wanted to a couple of times. Never got a package from them either, thank Guiness.