How Do I Handle Halloween at the Firm?
October 29, 2008 · by Sweet Hot Counsel
Q: I think I know the answer to this already, but I just want to confirm: It would be a bad idea to wear some sort of low-key Halloween costume on Friday, correct? Our firm has sent out an email “encouraging” everyone to “get into” the spirit of the day because there’s supposed to be a group of kids from some charity group making the rounds of the office on Friday for trick or treating. I’m assuming I should just dress normal, close my door and not draw any attention to myself. I highly doubt the partners will be wearing costumes. Or am I missing something? [Read more]
No Laughing Matter
October 27, 2008 · by Legal Tease
I used to be a lot of things. Funny. Creative. Limber. Up for a good time. It didn’t take much to make me laugh. And when I did, it was genuine. And then I became a lawyer. And last night, I found myself at a hole-in-the-wall vodka bar with a group of fun-loving, actor-writer-creative types, and I realized that I had nothing to say. I couldn’t form the words in time to jump into a good riff or a joke. I had no cool work anecdotes or funny stories. I couldn’t relate to 98% of what these people were laughing about and I actually felt bad for anyone who had to sit next to me. It’s official: I’m no longer funny or interesting. [Read more]
How Do I Handle Running into a Partner on JDate?
October 22, 2008 · by Sweet Hot Counsel
Q: I just spotted a recently divorced partner from my floor on JDate. His pictures are those book-jacket professional-seeming kind and he lists “swinging 
” as one of his interests. When he checks who’s viewed his profile, he’ll see that I checked him out. I see him all the time around the floor and work with him occasionally (but not right now). Do I bring it up to him the next time I see him or just ignore the elephant in the room? [Read more]
Lawyer-Hot or Hot-Hot?
October 20, 2008 · by Legal Tease
I should’ve known better. I should’ve just left the pimping to the professionals and none of this would’ve happened. But it did. It started this past weekend when I was having brunch at City Bakery with my newly single, ex-BigLaw friend, Max, and I suggested a perfect set-up for him: She’s a fourth-year in my firm, cute, funny, just transferred in from the Paris office and doesn’t know anyone. Max’s first question, of course:
“Is she hot?”
“Well, I guess. Yeah. Definitely. She’s adorable.”
“What, like, a 7? Or are we talking 8, 9?”
Gross. “I don’t know, Max. A ‘7,’ maybe? Whatever. She’s hot.”
He cocked an eyebrow. “Yeah, but is she lawyer-hot or hot-hot?”
“I’m sorry?”
“Is she hot for a lawyer or hot for a, you know, real person?” [Read more]
Do I Tell My Firm I Think I Failed the Bar Exam?
October 17, 2008 · by Sweet Hot Counsel
Q: I started working at a major firm in CA in late September and took the CA bar exam in July. We get the results back in a few weeks and I seriously, seriously think I failed it. Nothing drastic happened during the test or anything and I’ve always been a good student (top of my class in a Tier 2 in NYC), but I’ve never felt so not confident about a test in my life. I wanted to vomit after the MBE and I screwed up at least one and a half essays. And CA’s pass rate is awful. I haven’t thought about it in awhile, but with all the layoffs that keep happening and bar results that are starting to roll in from other states, I’m getting nervous that I’m going to be one of the only ones in my first-year class who fails and I’m going to be laid off because of it. I don’t know if I can take that humiliation. Should I just pave the way to ease the (potential) blow now and give the firm a heads up, or just ride it out and see what happens? [Read more]
I Hate Corporate Law, How Do I Switch?
October 15, 2008 · by Sweet Hot Counsel
Q: I’m a second-year at a huge firm in NY and I hate the work I’m doing. I don’t hate the job per se, but I’m in the corporate department (corporate finance mostly) and the work is so goddamn boring I could murder someone. If I see one more underwriting agreement or convertible notes offering memorandum, I’m gonna lose it. I don’t want to leave the law, but I can’t do this corporate crap anymore. I should have made the move sooner, but I thought things would get more interesting. They haven’t. How do I even approach the firm about switching to a totally different department? Do people do that? Am I screwed if I do? This sucks. [Read more]
Online Dating for Lawyers: A Primer
October 10, 2008 · by Legal Tease
I get it, people—we’re Big Firm Associates—it’s not easy to find dates, no less get laid on a steady, or any, basis. Of the cool professions guaranteed to elicit flirting at a bar, “lawyer” is right up there with mortician and actuary in terms of its panty-melting effect. (Believe me, I’ve had to find out the hard way. Just ask this guy.) So, as much as it pains me to admit it, if you’re anything like me and you want to go on an actual date anytime in the next millennium, you’re probably going to need to enlist the help of the world wide internet. Sorry. And my immediate mission is to help you do it without looking like a total loser when your senior associate—nay, every associate you’ve ever met—sees your online profile. And then sends it to everyone you know. In other words, I want to spare you the humiliation I went through a couple of weeks ago. [Read more]
How Do I Survive the Firm Field Day?
October 9, 2008 · by Sweet Hot Counsel
Q: I just started my first year at a huge firm in a major city. I didn’t summer there. Next week, all the first-years have to go to a 3-day weekend training “retreat” where we’re supposed to learn the basics of the firm and bond and whatever. I’ve heard it’s back-to-back mandatory group games and “trust exercises.” I admit I’m really shy and hardly know any of these people and the idea of doing trust games makes me want to die. How do I survive this weekend without making an ass of myself, but not coming off as antisocial? I am literally dreading it. [Read more]
