1. they were all either securely married, laid-back, quiet, and tended to end up in non-firm businesses after graduation, OR

2. they were quite impressed with themselves, still cripplingly insecure, rather unpolished, had unimpressive social skills, seemed pretty entitled, and were, with one or two exceptions, average-to-unattractive in looks.

Most female lawyers, knowing the lay of the land, weren’t interested in these Category 2 guys because we are in it as well and know (a) you have a lot of student loan debt, (b) you aren’t making as much as you tell people you are, unless you’re at a big firm where we’ll never see you, and (c) you’re probably from a less-than-middle-class background, have a chip on your shoulder, a lot to prove, and a sense that a law degree entitled you to an investment banker lifestyle and supermodel women, despite being little more than a glorified service person. I’m a lawyer too, I have no illusions about what that entails.

We also know that unless you love practicing, you’re likely to burn out, go off the rails, screw a few paralegals behind our backs, blow half of that partnership bonus on a drug/gambling/prostitute/bad investment habit, and give us herpes before you decide that you want to “get out” and “find yourself” and ditch us with your 2 demon-spawn to run off to Maui with your second paralegal wife and open a sea-side bar where you dispense malpractice-worthy legal advice on the side.

On the other hand, some of the fugliest, meanest, most obnoxious guys in my graduating class had hot non-law girlfriends who were dating them because those girls thought “lawyer” = “rich someday” and were looking forward to a marriage where they didn’t have to raise kids, wash hubby’s skidmarked boxers AND hold down a third shirt at the corner convenience store to make ends meets. Can’t fault them there. They just don’t know. So they hung in and hung out and now show up at alumni events ticked about how their husband’s bosses aren’t paying more and looking unhappy (most of them – some did genuinely love their guys. Two of them.)

I only date business guys, science guys, medical guys. They all come with their own issues, sure, but having seen the kitchen were lawyers are made, I can officially say that i will not be dining at that establishment ever in my life. And I think that’s a big part of the problem – a lawyer guy who feels he deserves worship from girls for his job title is going to have to look outside the legal field to find anyone ignorant enough to give it to him.

Someone, somewhere, is tired of her shit.

lawyer pretty? sure….whatever

Every, single, one of these women were getting side action. Without fail. You honestly believe these women can forget all their needs of hotness for a wallet? Hell no! They LOVE their JD husbands and boyfriends. They get all the money they need to keep up their wardrobes, their boob jobs (nothing wrong with that), their shoes that helps them pull the hot guys while their husbands are hard at work.

This is how I met my uber hot, non JD, husband. Hanging out with these ladies, even if I had to jump on the grenade, I still ended up with a hottie!

Now, at company parties my husband joins the boys club and laughs as they talk shit about the women in the office. He knows that while they brag about how hot their women are, their women are over in the corner with me saying things like, “marrying for money is the toughest job out there”, “I only drink when I sleep with my husband. I stay sober for the pool boy”, and “Two things get me off. 180k a year and the 180 pounds of man flesh I picked up last night.” (All things I have heard from my friends).

These hotties ARE happy to marry a JD! A guy with a ton of money, too ugly to get stolen away by any other woman, and too busy to catch them with any of their boy toys. Your absolute best bet is to befriend them. Hang out with them. Because near hot girls are hot guys, and I don’t mean the trolls you (we) work with every day. Don’t be jealous. The ladies are a lot of fun and know where to find hot guys that know how to please a woman.