Do I Bail on the Firm Holiday Party?
November 25, 2008 · by Sweet Hot Counsel
Q: Despite hard times in the world of BigLaw, my firm will have a holiday party this year, but I don’t want to go. I’m a first-year associate, so the event would ideally be a great opportunity to make a good impression on partners and decrease my chances of getting booted in the next round of layoffs. In fact, I’ve been told that attendance and intra-firm networking at events like this one is where one gets a reputation as a “team player,” even more so than at work. I’m not one to turn down an open bar, but two potential pitfalls present themselves. First, I tend to take the concept of “all you can drink” seriously. I woke up nearly every post-event morning of my summer associate gig wondering what verbal diarrhea I had spewed the night before (although I still got the offer). Second, I’m very much single, so I not only lack a date to keep me in check, but I also run the risk of a drunken inter-office hook-up, whether initiated by me or by a female attorney. As a firm believer in not shitting where I eat, I don’t want to hurt any feelings or get a rep as the office manwhore three months into the gig because I have poor impulse control.
Should I avoid the party by lying about some previous engagement and risk getting pegged as a guy who doesn’t play well with others, or should I suck it up and run the very real risk of making a fool of myself? The split-the-baby solution of making a short appearance seems reasonable (even if I run the risk of finding that I like it and staying), but the general question remains: how mandatory is the holiday party? [Read more]
Do I Really Need to Donate to a Client’s Charity?
November 12, 2008 · by Sweet Hot Counsel
Q: I’m a junior associate and the I’ve been last-minute invited to a huge fundraising dinner event for the pet charity of one of the firm’s biggest clients. I was only invited because the billing partner needed bodies to fill the table (I did a ton of work for this client last year but have never met them). I said I’d go but one of the other juniors going just told me that in situations like this, the lawyers are expected to make a donation to the stupid charity to “show their support” for the client. That can’t be serious, right? And even if it is, they mean the partners, not a third-year like me, right? I can barely make my rent and loan payments and I kind of figure that the 1000 or so hours I billed last year for the client was my “donation.” Right? I just don’t want to be embarrassed, though. Advice? [Read more]
Pervert, Esq.: Part Two
November 7, 2008 · by Legal Tease
[Click here for Part One of "Pervert, Esq."]
He gets back into the bed, leans over me, pushes a stray strand of hair away from my eyes and smiles. “So, I have something I wanted to tell you all night.” He’s grinning and I cannot believe I’m actually going to start a relationship with a partner—the Hot Partner.
“Over in that closet over there…” He’s smiling and starts kissing my neck. I’m giggling along with him. I can barely hear him. Something about a closet. This is a dream. It’s about time; I deserve this, I do.
“…I have…” This is heaven. Seriously. Maybe we’ll even go get breakfast tomorrow. Is it awkward if we show up to work at the same—
“…a strap-on.”
Pardon? [Read more]
Pervert, Esq.: Part One
November 3, 2008 · by Legal Tease
There are so many social interactions with BigLaw Partners that can be tough for an associate to navigate: digging yourself out of a conversational black hole with a drunk one at the firm’s holiday party, trying to avert your eyes from one’s soggy old ball sac staring you in the face at a 7 a.m. workout at the office gym, running into one at the Four Seasons with a companion who’s clearly charging by the hour. None, however, is trickier than one that finds you bouncing around naked on top of one them in a sweaty, groping marathon of intra-firm sexcapades. [Read more]



