Novels at Work: Bad Call?
April 27, 2009 by Sweet Hot Counsel
Q: Hello. My firm has already done one round of layoffs and it’s still totally dead around here. I’m a second-year with literally nothing to do most days. I’ve tried to get on pro bono matters and have done some office projects, but there’s really not much going on. I come in every day from at least 9 to 5 but mostly surf the Internet. My question: Is it completely off-limits to just bring a personal book to work to read in my office when things are slow? I don’t see how that’s any more potentially offensive than surfing the Internet every day (which every associate I know does), but I don’t want to cross some unknown, arbitrary line of inappropriateness.
A: Here’s the good news: Reading a personal novel at work doesn’t actually cross some unknown, arbitrary line of inappropriateness, as you feared it might. The bad news: It crosses a well-known, non-arbitrary, white-hot, flashing, glowing line of inappropriateness.
Look, I totally understand and actually agree with you that there’s not much of a substantive difference between cruising Gawker all day and flipping through a hard copy of the latest NYT bestseller, but when it comes to appearances, the difference is huge. And if the ongoing law firm layoff pandemic has taught us anything about law firm life, it’s that appearances—of being busy, at least—count for pretty much everything.
See, here’s the thing with passing the time in your office surfing nonsense on the Internet—it can actually look like you’re doing real work. It’s a tougher trick, however, to convince someone passing by your office that you were researching a complex legal question in that copy of The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants. Because if there’s one thing those nutty partners actually expect you to do at work, it’s…work. Something about being paid six figures, blah blah blah. And, yes, I know that there isn’t any work out there, but the key, then, is to just look like you’re working. Sure, the firm will know that you’re not actually billing anything when they look at your hours, but flaunting a copy of some pulp novel when you’re getting paid almost $200K to do nothing is basically like hanging a neon-green “Fuck You” banner across your office door. And then asking every partner you know to stop by and say hello. Don’t push your luck.
That said, if you’re really that bored and can’t take one more minute of the Internet, at least be creative, stick your book in a copy of the Securities Handbook or something, turn away from the door, and maybe keep a pen in hand And for the love of God, make sure to remove any cover that even remotely looks like this.
Good luck.
Need advice? Email our Sweet Hot Counsel at counsel@sweethotjustice.com.
Then We Came to the End by Joshua Ferris (highly recommended) is a book about a company going into decline at the end of the tech boom. In the book, a character named Hank Neary simply photocopies an entire book and then reads it during work hours. This method might allow the questioner to get away with reading for pleasure at work by giving the appearance that they are reading a contract or deposition transcript.
The only catch is getting the copies made. Getting caught making copies of American Psycho on the firm copier would probably be worse for your career than brazenly reading for pleasure during work hours. I would recommend taking it to Kinko’s, self-copying, and then submitting it as an expense.
You can also try books online at google, I think. Not sure about whether kindle books can be read online on a non-Kindle, but its worth checking out.
Are you serious??? How can you even ASK this question??
That wont get you laid off…It WILL get you fired!
Why dont you write an article or something, show your partner that youre doing something. (and you can help build your resume seeing as your days are probably numbered anyway.)
Second the photocopied book. If you can wear headphones you can do books on CD while staring at a document.
Southern is right; do something productive.
I agree with the Southern Lawyer. If you are useless and have nothing to do, don’t flaunt it. Be glad your collecting a paycheck, but for Jehova’s sake, look busy!!!!! Otherwise, they’ll lead your scrawny ass right to the door.
The only exception to this rule is if you are a VERY VERY good looking female associate that has the managing partner or other influence peddlers by the cohones.
You may be able to get away with some slack, but don’t expect the gravey train to go on forever. Unless you really have something unique the partners want and need, you too will be on the unemployment line not that long after the homely women are given the proverbial gate.
There’s so much pro bono work out there!! For God’s sake, do something good for society!
One other “acceptable” reading tip–
Go to your firm’s library and check out some of the magazines and trade rags. You could read Businessweek, Fortune, Economist, or Private Equity Monthly or other practice-related newsletters. Yes, you might actually learn something!
I know it sucks to come to work and have nothing. You probably work at Latham. That’s what happened to all of our first and second years.
Check out e books. You download them to your computer and they look like pdf files.
you have e diesel books or books on board.
http://www.diesel-ebooks.com/ or
http://www.booksonboard.com/index.html
Even if you’re not doing work, you still do have to at least look as though you are – books are a no-no. On the other hand, you could use the time to try something new and different – write research articles, learn a new language – even though you’re not doing work, you’ll still look as though you’re trying to impress and odds are, you boss will keep that in mind. Hey, you may even be able to get something published, get noticed by another firm and get the hell out of your dead-boring job!
Get a Kindle and download Kindle for PC on your work computer. Sure, the IT guys will totally be on to you, but you can read juicy chick lit all day whilst appearing to be doggedly persuing something work related. Oh yea, and keep a large document minimized in case you need a quick click-over. You’re welcome.