The Myth of the Cool Partner

It’s happened—after a few years and a few thousand billable hours, I’ve finally found him.  Sure, there have been loads of false starts along the way, but I think this time it’s for real: I’ve finally met the worst partner in the entire firm.  At first, I thought the winner might be Russ, the firm’s resident stone-faced robot and reigning Big Firm Savant.  But no.  Then, for obvious reasons involving hidden harnesses and coconut-flavored lube, I thought it could possibly be Ian, our favorite slave-driving Pervert, Esq.  Wrong again.  No, in the past few weeks, the true winner has revealed himself to be a creature far more insidious, more vile: the Cool Partner.  And I’m here to warn you—he’s a type more dangerous than you’ve ever imagined. [Read more]

How Do I Handle a Deferred Start Date?

Q:  Do you have any advice on what to do about deferred start dates? My AmLaw100 firm—like every firm nowadays—deferred our start dates until January 2010.  From a financial perspective, I can wait until January to start working. It’s what I’m supposed to do from now until January that has me rattled. I’m afraid deferring our start dates is just a way to postpone our inevitable firings—in other words, I’m worried there won’t be a job waiting for me in January. Originally I was just going to travel after taking the Bar exam until I started work in September; when I got news of the deferment, I figured I’d just extend my trip.  Yet as more lawyers get fired, I can’t help but think I should be looking for a back-up job, just in case things don’t work out as I planned with BigLaw and I’ve got to look for something new.

It seems wrong to look for a full-time position while I still have intentions of going back to my firm in January (if they’ll still have me), yet which smart small-to-mid-sized firm will hire me if I’m honest and tell them I might be leaving in a few months?  I could volunteer at a PD’s office or something, but that kind of work has no relation to my future practice (transactional), and frankly I don’t want to do criminal defense work.  On top of everything, public interest jobs are surprisingly hard to come by now that every recent Tier 1 graduate is being paid $70k by their firms if they’ll do pro bono work for a year—I’ve been told they’re simply running out of desks to accommodate all the recent grads who are flocking to help them.  What should I do? [Read more]

How Do I Sneak Off to My Therapist During Work?

Q:  I’m going to start work at a NYC Big Law firm in a few months. As part of the move to New York, I’m going to have to find a new psychiatrist and psychologist.  I understand that having a platoon of mental health professionals is de rigeur for a lot of New Yorkers—I’m just trying to fit in.  So I’m not asking for recommendations as to particular therapists (at least until I know more about my health insurance options).  Rather, I’m wondering how I should sneak away from work to do this?  I assume most therapists have some limited evening availability, but I bet I’m not the only lawyer with this problem.  Is competition for an evening slot cutthroat?  Also, I feel like I can only ask my secretary to cover for me for so long.  Even if I found a psychologist I really liked, who was really close to the office, we’re still looking at an hour and a half of limited ’berry access, plus another hour of sitting at my desk seething with hate for my mother afterward.  That’s a long time for my secretary to pretend I’m unavailable in a meeting.

Help? [Read more]

Respect the Ring?

Quick question: When you think of the average married, middle-aged guy slogging his way up the Big Law partner track, what’s the first thing that comes to mind?  A pasty, bloated puppet?  A bald head?  An over-worked, under-stimulated robot, bunking in at the office while the wife lies safely, if not securely, back at home?  Well, if the state of affairs in and around my firm is any indication, you’d be off the mark—way off the mark.  Because as far as I can tell lately, when it comes to  Big Law romance, a wedding ring is the new corporate aphrodisiac. [Read more]