The Price of Getting Pretty: Productivity

Let’s say you just woke up.  After working at the firm until midnight last night, you’re already underslept and overtired and now you have to haul your ass out of bed and get ready for another day at the firm.  You either:

(A)  Get up; brush your teeth; spend 10-15 minutes prepping your face, hair and bod; get dressed in the dry-clean-only version of the same basic outfit and shoes that you would wear if you were going to the park for a weekend stroll; and leave for work.

or

(B)  Get up; brush your teeth; spend 45-75 minutes prepping your face, hair and bod; get dressed in the diametrical opposite of the outfit and shoes that you would wear if you were going to the park for a weekend stroll; and leave for work.

In other words, you’re either (A) a man or (B) already screwed before you get out the door.  Because if you have two X chromosomes and work at a law firm, you’re always going to be inherently less productive than your XY counterparts by sheer virtue of the fact that you have to get ready for work every morning.   Even if you couldn’t care less about your appearance.

Unconvinced?  Let’s take a look at how the actual numbers shake out. [Read more]

Does a J.D. Turn You Into a Cougar?

If you’re the kind of person who has eyes, you’ve probably noticed that you can’t throw a vial full of Botox down an airshaft lately without hitting a cougar licking her wounds in an alley down below.  Whether it’s the latest crop of is-Ashton-cheating-on-Demi rumors, or this week’s bombshell about Courtney “Cougar Town” Cox’s recent humiliation at the hands of her soon-to-be-ex hubby, Hollywood news has no shortage of commentary about famous cougars. But starlets aren’t the only targets when it comes to cougar conjecture. Even here in Big Law, the hunt for so-called cougars has been steadily on the rise.   [Read more]

Six Rules for Law Firm Dating

[The excerpt below is part of an article that was written by yours truly and originally published on TechnoLawyer's BigLaw newsletter on October 12, 2010]

If you work in a large law firm, you’ve probably felt it lately — that ineffable shiver in the air, that growing sense of anticipation. It’s that time of year again — the first-year associates are arriving. Any minute now, hordes of fresh, hungry first-years will flood the halls of your firm, armed with nothing but hope and a closet full of new dress pants. Some of them will be married or otherwise attached — for now, at least. Most won’t be. And that’s where things get complicated — and interesting!

See, if you’re a single biglaw lawyer, you’re well aware that your options for finding a date, much less a mate, are pretty much limited to people working within a 11-foot radius of your office building. But even if you find yourself face to face with a live target, it’s tough to make a connection. Part of the problem is that for every six minutes of billable time you get under your belt, you lose a proportional percentage of what the kids call “game.” By the time you’re, say, a sixth-year associate, you’ve lost absolutely all ability to flirt. Every last bit. At best, your efforts scream “Avoid Me”; at worst, they scream “Unabomber.” Either way, you need some help. So, if you want to improve your flirting skills, and score a date among the junior ranks at your firm without getting yourself rejected, or worse, in trouble, study these six rules.

Read up on the rules at this post’s original home on TechnoLawyer’s BigLaw newsletter.