Read This or Die Alone: Advice for Young Women

July 2, 2013 · by

I don’t want to alarm you, but this is going to be bad news for some of you—possibly even a lot of you. The last few days have been tough for all of us.  Emotional.  Controversial. Traumatic, even.  News like this comes along once, maybe twice, in a lifetime.  Obviously, I’m referring to the treatise that was released this past weekend in Princeton University’s student newspaper, the Daily Princetonian, in the form of a letter to the editor addressed to “the young women of Princeton.”

The author of this editorial, noted socio-anthropological scholar divorced former housewife and Princeton alum, Susan A. Patton, caused quite a stir when she implored—nay, demanded—that the young women of Princeton “find a husband on campus before you graduate” because “for most of you, the cornerstone of your future and happiness will be inextricably linked to the man you marry, and you will never again have this concentration of men who are worthy of you.”  She then drove the point home by noting that she recently completed a “horrible” divorce, after 27 years of marriage, to a man whose “academic background was not as luxurious as mine, and that was a source of some stress.”  Indeed.

Susan A. Patton, while I admire your grammar, I have to respectfully disagree with you.  Because you failed to cite one obvious point: Even if a young lady has managed to escape the wilds of New Jersey without nailing down a trip to Zales, she still has one more shot: law school.  Well, let’s be clear—a T14 law school. [Read more]

The Truth Is Out, Ladies: Your Long Hair Is Killing Your Career

July 27, 2012 · by

Women: Pay attention, this is important.  Especially for you old ones (and by “old” I mean over 30 but not yet 40.  Women 40 and over: Can you even read anymore at your age?  I’ll just refer to you as “pre-dead lady husks”).  In a spate of breaking, hard-hitting news, an actual legal newspaper has finally exposed the bitter nugget of truth as to why you women—you “older women” in particular—may be sabotaging your careers.  No it’s not your pursuit of work-life balance, it’s not your historic battle against decades of workplace gender inequity; it’s something far more insidious.  It’s your stupid, long hair. [Read more]