News Roundup 2.12.10

Just in time for Valentine’s Day: An ambassador to Dubai has annulled his marriage after discovering that his bride—who had never revealed herself, wearing the full Islamic face-covering Niqab on the occasions the couple had met—was “cross-eyed and had facial hair” when he lifted her veil to kiss her.  The  told a Sharia court that his bride’s mother had tricked him by showing him pictures of her sister.  [BBC]

Speaking of romance: According to court records filed yesterday, 73-year-old Dennis Hopper’s 42-year-old wife has agreed to stay 10 feet away from the ailing actor and not contact him directly as they sort through their impending divorce.  [HuffPost]

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Think that John Edwards and Beyonce’s dad have nothing in common?  Think again.  Or just ask their mistresses.  Or better yet, their lawyers.  [E! Online]

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Are you noticing a Parents-of-the-Century theme to today’s news roundup?  If not, this choice item should seal the deal.  [Popsquire]

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An ex-Sullivan and Cromwell corporate lawyer-turned psychotherapist who blogs as The People’s Therapist lends some insight into why lawyers are angry, bitter, miserable wretches—and compares working in a law firm to Auschwitz.  [Above the Law]

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A Florida jury spreads the pain of a Brazilian bikini wax gone bad.  [Click Orlando]

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In the spirit of Valentine’s Day a lawyer-search service is offering “advice” about the do’s and don’ts of dating attorneys, with hilarious items like “Always cite sources” and “Speak Latin.”  We told you it was hilarious. [Avvo]

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Super hard-core, edgy edgy musiciatron apologizes for being incredible douchebag.  America yawns.  [US Weekly]

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News Roundup 9.18.09

Think of the saddest, most pathetic sexual nadir you ever reached.  Did it involve purchasing virtual sex toys like a ”sex bed,” a digital bed with built-in sex position animations, for your Second Life avatar to use online?  Or better yet, did it involve suing other virtual sex toy makers who are peddling knocked-off versions of your high-end online kink to Second Lifers?  Well, then, at your worst, you still have light  years more game than these folks.  Pun intended.  [MediaPost News]

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Just what every girl dreams of: A new recently leaked book proposal by John Edwards’s former aide claims that the adulterous Edwards once calmed his piece-on-the-side/ babymama, Rielle Hunter, by promising her that after his wife finished up her bout with cancer and died, he would marry Hunter in a rooftop ceremony in New York with an appearance by none other than the Dave Matthews Band.   Who says romance is dead?  [Gawker]

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Speaking of romance, good news, all you lawyer boys out there: Gold digging ladies of leisure still want to date you!  According to self-proclaimed “high-end matchmaker” Samantha Daniels, her lady clients have been broadening their scope lately regarding the types of guys they want to buy them be set up with.  According to Daniels, whereas ladies “used to immediately say, set me up with someone in finance, they’re now going back to the traditional professions as well. They’re asking for lawyers and doctors and business owners — the type of guys their grandmothers used to tell them to look for.” [Fortune via CNN Money]

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This 22-year-old Georgetown law student is NOT dating Rihanna.  Really, he swears he’s not.  Repeatedly.  And with such flair.  [Above the Law]

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Oh, John Thain.  You slay us.  That remark you made—you know, the one where you said that, if you “had to do it over again,” you’d furnish your office “in Ikea,” instead of spending $1.2 million on choice pieces like a $35,000 toilet—is part of what makes you just so damn fun.  A spokeswoman for Ikea, Mona Astra Liss, even offered to show the the former CEO of the exploded Merrill Lynch & Co. around his local IKEA anytime, offering to “show him a wealth of furniture choices for home and office” and to “feed [him] Swedish meatballs, too.”  Wouldn’t hold your breath there, Mona. [Bloomerg]

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And you thought the paralegal sitting outside your office had it in for you.  Let’s just hope he doesn’t know Irby Walker, the South Carolina criminal defense attorney who’s been charged with solicitation of a felony for allegedly trying to hire a hit man to kill another attorney with whom he formerly shared a law office. [ABA Journal]