News Roundup 3.2.10

The apparent value of a Georgetown Law degree, in 2010 dollars: $222.50, plus an iPod Nano and a date with a war room full of sad lawyer ladies.  Don’t believe us?  Ask this guy.  [Above the Law]

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If you were looking for another reason not to work at Skadden, try “Increases Chances of Actually Being Murdered in Your Sleep.”   [Washington Post]

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Are lawyers “holding happiness hostage”?  The WSJ Law Blog attempts to ferret out an answer: “Yes, lots of lawyers are miserable. But lots of lawyers —even lawyers at big firms— are happy.  And we’d argue that for these folks, the happiness actually derives from the process, not the goal itself.”   See, friends, that’s the feeling you couldn’t quite place the last time you were off deriving some process in your office at 3 a.m. on a Saturday.  Happiness.  [WSJ Law Blog]

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Before you read any further, we have to warn you: Please make sure you’re sitting down. Are you? For real?  OK, don’t say we didn’t warn you:  The ABA Journal is reporting that, “Despite having landed prestigious summer associate positions last year, a number [of Harvard law students] have been no-offered and forced to face up to an unpleasant fact, writes an anonymous 3L in the Harvard Law Record.”   We know, we know, shut up already, Haiti.  [ABA Journal]

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Former aspiring lawyer Alec Baldwin rubs some salt in the wounds of a group of law students at Fordham Law School.   [NY Daily News]

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“Drunk mom allegedly runs through school with sword.”  We could elaborate.  But why?  [My Way News]

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After proposing to his girlfriend of six weeks in a Diamond Cellar store in Columbus, Ohio with a $58,000 engagement ring, an ophthalmologist filed suit in a Manhattan court against his now ex-fiancee when the engagement broke up a couple of weeks later and she refused to return the ring.  Sources have yet to confirm whether the ex-fiancee is refusing to return the ring as part of a serial-engagement scam, or if she’s merely traumatized from being proposed to in a place called “Diamond Cellar” in a mall in Ohio.  [NY Post]

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News Roundup 1.15.10

NBC executron Dick Ebersol took time earlier today to fuel the latest Jay vs. Conan fire, calling out his network’s own Conan O’Brien for being a “chicken-hearted,” “gutless” failure.  On an unrelated note, highlights from NBC’s recent remake of Knight Rider are available for download here.  [NY Times]

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Recent reports have confirmed: When you submit that unsolicited manuscript to the nearest publisher/ agent/ fame-making media machine, the terrorists win.  Don’t say we didn’t warn you.  [WSJ Online]

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How do you spell “excitement” if you’re a futures trader in Chicago?  Nose-biting and fist fights, apparently.  As if you didn’t already know that.  [Dealbreaker]

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You thought the waves of major law firm layoffs were over.  You were wrong.  [ABA Journal]

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In a related story, early reports suggest that, despite the global economic reign of fire that burned through Big Law over the past year, profits per partner remained  strong in 2009.  See?  All those associate layoffs had a silver lining, didn’t they, kids?  No?  [Above the Law]

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Still haven’t locked down a new job?   Wondering what it might be like to work in a mansion…naked?  Well, polish up your boobs resume, kids, because Hef’s apparently taking applications.  [Huff Post]

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Speaking of job hunting, it looks like the top spot in Apple’s legal department just flew open.  After just 18 months lawyering at the altar of all things tech sexy, the company’s general counsel, Charles Charnas, has officially left.  No word yet on where he’s heading—or who’s taking over the top spot.   [Law.com]

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Just when you were thinking Times Square would be that much better if only it were filled with a rotating 30-foot-tall display of headshots of the FBI’s most wanted fugitives, your wish comes true.  You’re welcome.  [Gawker]

News Roundup 9.23.09

Want to succeed in nabbing that dream legal job you thought was out of your reach?  Start tweeting.  An article appearing in the National Law Journal today encourages law students faced with imminent joblessness to increase their chances of landing that sweet job by “networking exponentially” by “sharing their message broadly” on sites like Twitter.  Good call. Because if anything’s going to land you that gig at Cravath, it’s a steady stream of “pantyRade34 @MexicoRob Yam burritos and Cougar Town with Ms. Puttykat rocks my world, yummm!!!!” [Law.com]

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Manorexia comes to the mayor’s office in New York City.  [Dealbreaker]

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“To quote the great Marty Singer — Eric Dane’s lawyer — if you don’t want a sex tape on the internet, ‘don’t make one!’”  to quote the great Nick Denton, founder of Gawker media and recent target of a lawsuit for introducing the world to that smoky, liquor-soaked sex tape that Eric “McSteamy” Dane made with the girl from the old Noxema commercials and some former teen-beauty-queen hooker.  [Gawker]

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Whip out that platinum Amex, all you law firm types out there—the worst of the recession is over for law firms!  Well, at least according to a recent survey by PriceWaterhouseCoopers.  Bring on those bonuses. [ABA Journal]

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Day care center. Dogfighting ring. Day care center. Dogfighting ring. Daycare center. Dogfighting ring.  Day care ce—  Nope, no luck, no matter how many times you say it, the two just don’t click.  The Cook County sheriff’s department apparently agrees. [HuffPost]

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Lawyer Howard K. Stern eleven steps closer to being blamed for the death of Anna Nicole Smith.  If by “steps,” you mean “felony counts,” that is.  [Popsquire]

News Roundup 9.15.09

We know, we know:  After today’s ruling, we don’t know what to do with that file folder of hooker and porn receipts anymore, either.   Thanks a lot, tax court.  [TaxProf Blog]

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A California writer is fighting to get a measure on the ballot to ban divorce.  He’s collecting signatures for the California Protection of Marriage Act, which he describes as the ”logical extension of Proposition 8.”  If passed, would make divorce illegal in California.  And yes, he’s joking.   Sort of.  [HuffPost]

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The recession is over.  The recession is over?  If you ask Fed Chairman Ben Bernanke, it is—from “a technical perspective,” at least.  Hell, we’ll take it.   [Daily Beast]

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Your government has spoken: “You Lie” Congressman Joe Wilson deemed an official douchebag by the House of Representatives today.  [Politico]

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Want to spend your days mingling with billionaire clients draped in exotic hardware and bold, fashion-forward colors?  Go work for the public defender—in Dallas, at least.  Because (former) billionaire banker and world-class scam artist ‘Sir’ Allen Stanford has been ordered a public defender in his $7 billion investor fraud case after running out of cash for a real attorney.  [ABC News]